Trust vs misTRUST

Whoever made it fashionable for girlfriends to demand to their boyfriends that they should exchange cellular phones for like a period of time so the boyfriend can prove that he's not doing anything mischievous behind her back should be burned alive. I cant believe society has condoned and even encourage people not to trust each other. Shouldn't it be innocent til proven guilty and not the other way around?. I could not understand that at all. But what i would never understand is a woman's dire need to prove that her partner is cheating on her just because statistics says so even though she cant prove it. The absence of proof or any evidence is actually considered itself as a proof. confused? let me expound later. though i am not the type to divulge to the world the mishaps of my relationship, please i'd rather keep it to myself, there are things that you have to emphasize to prevent them from happening again and again. which has been the case thats why i've decided to shout it out for documenting purposes. who knows this might actually help someone. including myself.

I dont know if its just the hormones during her monthly visits, or just bad intuition on her part but she seemed to be convinced that i'm actually cheating or doing something close to that. and she claims that i'v been lying to her. That i've been seeing other women behind her back. Why she thinks of me that way is beyond any argument. she just mystically knows it. well the truth is i'm not. and never will. i dont where all these is coming from. i haven't cheated on her and she has nothing on me (never been caught w/ anything incriminating. zilch!)

Even those sweet innocent nothings would turn out into something. i bring her food on her breaks at work and she would think that i did something wrong because i'm extra nice to her. and i bring her food almost every break schedule. i accompany her to her favorite bargain book store and she would claim that i'm not enjoying myself and was just obliged to be w/ her coz im her boyfriend. that's despite the fact that i've been secretly hiding a stack of children's books for my nephews and myself so that no one else could get to them.

I've always preached to everyone that you always have to maintain some level of privacy even though your in a relationship and its definitely a big NO! NO! to giveaway your passwords for your emails and such coz that only would spell trouble. Well after several months of nudging me, i finally gave in. Our relationship was working so well that on one of our monthsaries i decided to show her how much i trust her, and she could actually trust me also. i totally have nothing to hide so she's free to access my friendster account. BIG MISTAKE! i should have never attempted to predict the way she thinks for what happened next would haunt me for the rest of my life. she started reading my inbox and OUTBOX.. which you think would be pretty normal except the fact that she has gone way way back. even those messages i'd written and received 2 YEARS BACK. like a carefull surgeon, she disected what each word on those messages meant. to say that it rocked our relationship would be understatement. good thing we've recovered already.

Dont get me wrong here, She's definitely not one of those crazy, psychotic, jealous girlfriends that you stay away from. In fact she is the sweetest girl i know and she could love you like theres no tomorrow. You'll get more than enough of your share of hugz, kisses, sweet messages, gifts, LOVE and HAPPINESS. That is why i could honestly say that there's no way i'd cheat or allow myself to be in a position that would jeopardize our Love for each other. but just like any other women out there she also has her insecurities. Just because she met me later in life compared to the women i've been, she's jealous of the connections that i've had with them. She's afraid that whatever it is that she sees in me, will also be realized by those women and they might wanna get back or be with me (which i doubt would happen anyitime soon.. or at all).Which brings me to the question why would i want to be with them when i already have her?

I dont really have any solutions to this problem yet. i thought i did. apparently i dont. Maybe you could help me. Lets get into the intricate web of the female mind and see what we can come up to. Any recommendations, ideas, experiments would be welcome. For now, i'll just answer the questions that i know for sure..

Yes! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY LIFE..

No! i will never do anything stupid that would jeopardize your love for me..

YES! I honestly enjoy your company.. EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

No! I dont have any hidden agendas nor do i have any wishful thinking to be somewhere else when i'm with you.

YES! you definitely look great; long hair, short hair with or without bangs.

NO! i'm not going back with any women in my past. Regarless they want me back or not.. its never happening.

YES! I LOVE YOU. if you feel that i havent said it often enough, then i'll say it again. if you feel that i do. then i'll say it again. coz i could never get tired of saying it over and over and over again.

hope this helps. and i dont care what other people would think. could care less about them. its you and me. eyes on the prize.